CoaP and the Beer Factory II
By: Shaun Shikeishuu (Hyper Knux)
Our story takes place in the SoaH Machine. The new gang is watching TV.
Mystic: Since when do we have a TV in the van?
Zin: I bought it from some guy in a penguin suit.
Neon: You mean the guy who sold you the Game Boy that works without batteries?
Zin: No that guy had a polar bear suit.
Neon: Oh yeah.
JSG: What the fudge you two talking about?
Zin: One of old adventures.
Super: Ya the good old days.
Hyper: Hey remember the time we went to the beer factory?
Super: Ya man! That kicked!
Neon: I still can't believe we won that contest.
Zin: Ya and look on the TV! It's a beer commercial!
The Commercial.
Announcer: Drink T&A Beer and you'll get all the chicks! Just watch!
A homeless guy drinks a T&A Beer and is surrounded by a bunch of hot chicks in thongs.
Announcer: Works everytime! So drink T&A Beer and be sure to look out for the Golden Bottle cap hidden in specially marked cans of T&A Beer and win a drip to the T&A Beer Factory and get to party with Beer's Mackenzie!
Commercial Ends
Hyper: Beer's Mackenzie! He's my hero!
Super: Ya the ultimate Party Drunk!
Mystic: Why would the bottle cap be in the cans? Shouldn't they be on the bottles?
Neon: They do it in the cans so people don't go though the bottles at stores taking of caps looking for the winning one then putting the caps back on.
Zin: Ya with the cans they actually need to drink the beer to see if there's a winning bottle cap in it.
JSG: That's a good idea. I think.
Hyper: Dudes we need to win!
Neon: Hyper we won that other contest. We have no chance of winning another one.
Zin: He's right man.
Hyper: Oh well can we at east stop and pick up a six pack?
JSG: Sure.
The van pulls up to an 8-22 convince store.
Inside the store.
Cal: Quick hence men we need to hide all the 6-packs of T&W Beer before the CoaP gang gets here!
Henchman #1: Yes sir!
The Henchmen hide all the beer behind a Diet Cola display.
Cal: Excellent. They'll never think of looking there. Now for the first phase of my plan!
Cal places a single six pack of T&W Beer at the display.
Cal: Quickly men we need to hide!
Cal and his henchmen hide behind the counter as Hyper and Zin enter the store.
Hyper: Where's the beer?
Zin: Calm down man the T&W display is right there.
Hyper: What the hell? Only one 6-pack?
Zin: They must be running low because of the contest.
Hyper: Damn. Well let's get it and go.
Hyper and Zin walk up to the counter.
Zin: Anyone here?
Cal jumps up from the counter with a fake mustache on.
Cal in disguise: Good day mates!
Hyper: Were not your mates!
Zin: Ya really were straight dude.
Cal in disguise: I'm straight too! Yup straight as can be.
Zin: Ok.. anyway we want to buy this beer.
Cal in disguise: Sure thing.
Cal rings up the beer and Zin pays.
Cal in disguise: Bye and good luck with the contest mates!
Hyper and Zin leave.
Hyper: That guy was soooo gay!
Zin: Ya he seemed familiar to me..
Zin and Hyper get in the van and they drive off.
Back in the store.
Cal: Excellent! They now have the beer cans with the winning bottle cap! Phase two complete! Now we must make our way to the Beer Factory! Once there I will go though with phase three! I'll capture the gang in my trap and marry Neon! HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!
Back in the Van.
Hyper: I don't believe it! I won!
Hyper holds up the winning bottle cap.
Super: Wooooo! Were going to the T&W Beer Factory to party with Beer's Mackenzie!
Neon: JSG turn the van around were going to the Beer Factory!
JSG: Ok Ego Dude.
They turn around and head off to the beer factory.
Mystic: I have to go to the bathroom.
Zin: You should have gone when we were at the 8-22.
Mystic: I really need to go! Can we pull over! Can we! Can we!
Neon: Be quite!
Mystic: Am I annoying! Huh? Am I? Huh? Huh?
JSG: Shut up!
Mystic: Yay I'm being annoying!
Super: I'm not annoyed.
Hyper: Me neither.
Mystic: Aww rats.
JSG: Well were here!
Neon: Cool. Mystic you can go find a bathroom once we get inside.
Mystic: Oh I didn't have to go I was trying to be annoying.
Zin: Oh brother.
As the gang stands at the factory entrance one of Cal's henchmen show up disguised as a Tour guide.
Tour Guide: Hello contest winners!
Hyper: Where's the beer?
Tour Guide: You will get all the free beer you can drink once your partying with Beer's Mackenzie!
Super: How long is that?
Tour Guide: Soon enough.
Super: That's not soon enough.
Hyper: Ya we want to party now!
Tour Guide: Patience! Now come with me!
They enter the factory and start the free tour. On a boat surrounded by beer.
Mystic: Wow that's a lot of beer.
Hyper: There not fooling me again! That isn't beer!
Cal: And this isn't a Beer Factory!
Cal appears on the boat.
Hyper: It's the guy from the 8-22!
Cal rips off the fake mustache.
Cal: Correction! It is I! Cal!
Zin: I knew that guy wasn't straight!
Cal: Silence!
Neon: What evil are you up to now!
Cal: Very simply cutie! I tricked you into coming to this fake factory so I can marry Neon! While I'm at I'll marry the rest of you! We'll be having loads of fun on the honey moon!
Hyper: I call top!
Cal: No I will be on top! Neon will be below me!
Neon: Eeeeek! Never!
JSG: The horror!
Cal: Now as we journey down this stream of beer I'll tell you my long boring plan!
Mystic: Nooooooo!!!!!!!
Cal begins to tell them the plan as Hyper starts leaning over the boat ledge.
Super: Hyper what are you doing?
Hyper: Remember how the real beer factory we went to had fake beer? Well since this is a fake factory the beer must be real!
Super: Hey you're right!
Hyper: Now dunk my head in so I can take a drink.
Super: Sure but then you dunk me down to get a drink.
Super starts to lower Hyper into the stream when the boat hits a rock causing Hyper and Super to fall into the stream.
Hyper: Ahh crap there goes the boat.
JSG pops out of the beer.
Super: JSG? Why did you jump in?
JSG: Everyone was doing it. I just wanted to be popular.
Hyper drinks the beer and spits it out.
Hyper: Yuck! It's non alcoholic!
Super: Crap. Well let's go find some real beer.
JSG: We need to go save the others and stop Cal!
Super: Fine but when we get back to the van were watching my new porno DVD.
Hyper: You mean the "Escape from Chinese Women's Prison" one?
Super: The one.
Hyper: Wooo! Let's go save them!
Back on the boat.
Cal: Then I shall... hey where did the echidnas and robot guy go?
Zin: They died. Yup.
Cal: Rats. That Hyper guy was kinda sexy. Oh well I guess you three will be good enough for the honeymoon.
Mystic: You can't marry three people! It's illegal!
Cal: Haha! Were in ALBERKIRKY! Everything is legal here!
Zin: Even Weasel hunting?
Cal: No! There is no weasel hunting!
Zin: You said everything!
Cal: Everything but that.
While Zin and Cal argue JSG, Hyper and Super sneak up behind Cal.
JSG: Ok guys we need a cunning plan to stop Cal. Hyper I'll need you to.. where's Hyper?
They look up to see Hyper standing next to Cal.
Hyper: Hey Cal do you have any nachos?
Cal: No sorry I don't... WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP HERE?
Hyper: Chill man. I'm looking for nachos.
Super: Hey JSG let's just jump him.
JSG: Sounds cool.
Super and JSG jump Cal.
Cal: I said I was going to be on top!
While JSG and Super beat up Cal Solofrog appears on the boat.
Solor: Hey dumb dumbs!
JSG: It's that stupid frog again!
JSG runs and dives for Solor but Solor disappears.
Solor: Bye bye dumb dumb!
JSG crashes down onto the end of a lose wooded plank. Cal just so happen to be standing on the other end and the force caused the plank to give way sending Cal soaring into the air.
Cal: It looks like Team Cal's blasting off again!
Neon: Thank God that's over.
Zin: Ya lets get to the van and get out of here.
Mystic: I have to go to the bathroom.
Neon: For real? Or are you trying to be annoying again?
Mystic: I'm trying to be annoying. Did it work? Did it? Huh? Huh?
Zin: Nope.
Mystic: Aww man.
JSG: You really need to try harder.
Hyper: Huh huh harder.
Back to the van.
Hyper: Pop it in Super.
Neon: Pop what in?
Super: The new porno I bought!
Zin: All right! Escape from Chinese women's prison. I heard only good reviews about this one!
JSG: Oh brother.
Hyper: Bring on the boobies!
The gang drives off watching porn.
The End
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