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The gang is in Washington on their way to meet President Bush. Neon is driving the van, Nuku is in the front seat drinking a soda and the rest of the guys are in the back, drunk as usual.
Hyper Knux: I love you guys!
SuperKnux: Stop touching me like that.
Hyper Knux: I'm thirsty! I want something to eat.
Hyper Knux starts chewing on SuperKnux's hat. Meanwhile Zin and Killer are playing cards.
Hyper Knux: Mmm. Shrimp.
Chao_Killer: HA! Go fish! I win!
Zin: We're playing poker stupid. You lose again.
Chao_Killer: Huh? Aww nuts!
Zin: Pay up.
Killer gives his bazooka to Zin, and he adds it to the ever growing pile of money and weapons.
Nuku: Hey look! It's ChaoThing! Stop the car Neon!
Neon swerves the van off the road and it stops just before it hits ChaoThing.
ChaoThing: Whoa! That was a close one. Long time no see!
Neon: Hey ChaoThing! Get in! We're off to see the President.
ChaoThing: What for?
Neon: You know, I don't have a clue.
Nuku: You mean you never checked that out?
Zin: Jinkies! A mystery!
Neon: Hey ChaoThing - How's it going?
ChaoThing: Are you playing that question game again?
Zin: Do you think this game is any good?
SuperKnux: Why am I so thirsty?
Nuku: Are you guys drunk again?
Hyper Knux: Me am drunk?
Nuku: Hyper Knux is out 'cos that isn't a real question.
Chao_Killer: Ha Ha! Anyone got a beer?
Nuku: Killer's out. Your first response was not in question form.
Chao_Killer: Zoinks!
ChaoThing: Is Neon looking where he's going?
Neon: Uh...no.
Nuku: Neon's out.
Zin: HOLY CRAP NEON! Watch out for that tree!
Nuku: Zin's out too.
The van smashes into a tree in front of the White House and the gang gets out. Hyper Knux then pukes all over ChaoThing.
ChaoThing: Ugh. I'm never gonna get rid of this smell. Thanks a lot Knux!
Hyper Knux: Sorry. I'm drunk.
Neon: Like we didn't see that coming.
Chao_Killer: Damn it Neon, you suck at driving.
Nuku: That's it Neon, on the way home, I DRIVE.
SuperKnux: How are we gonna get home? The vans busted. Again.
ChaoThing: Why don't you guys just get a new van if this one always breaks? Zin:
Jinkies! A mystery!
From out of nowhere HyperSonicChao comes strutting up to the gang.
HyperSonicChao: Hey guys!
Hyper Knux: Hey! How's it going?
Chao_Killer: Hey, HyperSonicChao, I wanna be friends, so take this big pretzel as a present.
HyperSonicChao: Gee, thanks!
HyperSonicChao begins to eat the pretzel, but then chokes on it and dies.
Chao_Killer: Sucker.
Nuku: Killer! What the heck was in that thing?
Chao_Killer: Rat poison and a whole tub of chao repellent.
Announcer: We interrupt this murder to bring you a news flash.
Zin: What the hell?
The gang looks down to see the pretzel talking.
Neon: Cool. How'd you do that?
Announcer: Our top story today is to inform the peeps that I know all and see all. In other news there are reports that President Bush has gone insane, trying to take over Afghanistan using evil rubber ducks.
SuperKnux: Sounds like a mystery gang!
Neon: Hey! That's my line!
SuperKnux: Why?
Neon: 'Cos I’m the leader. So there.
The gangs walk up to the front door of the White House and a secret service goon opens the door.
Goon: Who the hell are you people? And how did you get through the Star Wars defense matrix?
SuperKnux: What defense matrix? I thought you said the country couldn't afford it.
Goon: Yes...(looks around) that's right. There is no matrix. Ahem.
Neon: We're the SoaH gang. Here is our card.
The goon looks at the card and it reads: "The peeps from SoaH. Mystery Solvers and beer drinkers extraordinaire. We can solve anything faster than Scooby Doo or your money back! Also available for children’s parties, weddings and pie eating contests. Ask about our chao killing discounts!"
Goon: OK, the president is waiting for you. Walk this way.
Zin: You heard the guy.
Everyone follows him and walks in the same way he does.
ChaoThing: Damn, this place is friggin' sweeet!
Nuku: Yeah, the decorating is so Kawaii!
Chao_Killer: Hey goon! I'll give ya 10 bucks for your nightstick!
Zin: Haven't you got enough stuff already?
Chao_Killer: Not anymore. You cleaned me out.
The peeps come to the president's room. Bush is sitting in a large chair at the back of the room. The gang do a cheesy salute to him and then Knux pukes over the president's symbol on the floor.
Nuku: KNUX! Sorry about that Mr. President.
Bush: No problem. I’ll get that sorted out.
Hyper Knux: *hic* That stick just talked!
Neon: Nice to meet you, Sir. What did you want to see us for?
Bush: Nothing. I just sent you that invite to lure you here.
SuperKnux: Something ain't right here.
ChaoThing: Well, duh.
Bush pushes a button on his desk and a cage surrounds the gang. A secret door opens and the gang see the real George Bush tied up and gagged. The fake Bush then takes off his mask to reveal -- SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG!
Hyper Knux: Gravy! That guy ripped his face off!
Chao_Killer: Knux, you're an idiot. It was Shadow in disguise!
Zin: S...S...SHADOW? GAAAAAHHH! I'LL KILL YOU!
Shadow: Ha ha ha! I think not. That is the ultimate cage. No one can break out, and not even you can ever stop my plan to take over Afghanistan with my army of rubber duckies! HA HA HA HA HA!
Shadow pushes another button on the desk and turns it into a rocket. It then takes off, headed for Afghanistan.
Neon: So how are we gonna get out of here?
Hyper Knux: By eating buttered toast!
Chao_Killer: I know! We could break out of the cage using one of Nuku's robo gadgets. Then we can escape past the goons, blowing them up as we go, get in the van and then fly to Afghanistan. And on the way there we can kill HyperSonicChao again!
SuperKnux: Well, that could work, but why don't we use another one of those flashbacks?
ChaoThing: Yeah, flashbacks are easier and funnier too.
Zin: Okay, remember the time Neon guest starred on the A Team?
FLASHBACK to show Neon wearing a horde of gold chains and sporting a mohican hairstyle sitting in the A Team van. Mr. T comes along, punches Neon in the face and shouts, "I pity da fool!" In the background a passing rattlesnake eats HyperSonicChao. END FLASHBACK.
Nuku: Where are we?
Chao_Killer: No idea.
ChaoThing: Let's see...donkeys, large hats, tequila...aw crap! We're in Mexico!
Hyper Knux: WOO HOO! Tequila!
Knux runs into the closest shop, buys 30 bottles of Tequila, drinks them all and passes out.
Neon: Guess we're gonna have to try that again.
Nuku: Hey guys, remember the time when Chao_Killer played for the New York Yankees?
SuperKnux: Oh yeah, who could forget...
FLASHBACK to show the gang at the final of the World Series, bottom of the 9th, bases loaded, and Chao_Killer stepping up to the plate. The pitcher uses HyperSonicChao as a ball, throws him at Chao_Killer and he knocks him clean out of the park, impaling him on the torch of the Statue of Liberty. The crowd then goes wild. END FLASHBACK
Chao_Killer: (sniff) That was one of the best days of my life...
ChaoThing: Where are we now?
Hyper Knux: My Emerald is too fat!
Zin: What?
Hyper Knux: I'm sorry. I maxed out my Credit Card.
SuperKnux: Sweet, beautiful drunk talk.
Suddenly a rubber ducky appears and starts pecking at ChaoThing.
ChaoThing: Stupid rubber duckies. (He sprouts a mallet hand and crushes it.) Can anything good happen to me today?
Neon: Well at least we're in the right place.
Nuku: Yeah, we gotta find and stop Shadow!
Zin: MUST...KILL...SHADOW!
Chao_Killer: OH MY GOD! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!
From over the horizon an army of rubber duckies come charging toward the gang. The giant rubber ducky king follows close behind, with Shadow and Osama Bin Laden riding on top of it. Bin Laden is stroking a goat, James Bond villain style.
Bin Laden: So, peeps. We meet at last.
ChaoThing: Shut up. You suck.
Shadow: Impossible! How did you escape from my cage?
SuperKnux: We don't know. The script says we turn up in Mexico after a flashback, and turn up here after another.
Bin Laden and Shadow both check their scripts.
Shadow: Friggin' shit! They're right too.
Bin Laden: No matter. We will destroy you all! Duckies! ATTACK!
Hyper Knux: Look! Nachos!
Neon: Let's get 'em gang!
Chao_Killer (cracking his knuckles): Finally! Some action!
Nuku: Oh, what the heck. LET'S TAKE THESE JERK OFFS DOWN!
A huge fight scene begins against the peeps and the rubber duckies. Hyper Knux starts to chew on them, SuperKnux sends wave after wave of his Pikmin army after them, Chao_Killer and Neon begin to beat them up Jackie Chan style, Zin uses one of Chao_Killer’s ex flamethrowers and torches them all, while ChaoThing and Nuku go around, literally kicking their asses. Eventually the army are defeated.
Zin: Well, that wasn't so hard!
Hyper Knux: These nachos taste like plastic.
Shadow: NO!!!!! Our plan is ruined! Thanks to you meddling kids!
Hyper Knux: You're welcome!
Bin Laden: Quickly! We must escape!
Shadow whips out a Chaos Emerald.
Shadow: I'll be back peeps! Mark my words I will have my revenge...CHAOS CONTROL!
Bin Laden: What are you doing? Don’t leave me behind!
Shadow: Screw you.
Zin: Oh no you don't! I'm finishing you for good!!!!
Zin whips out a Grenade and chucks it at Shadow, but Shadow disappears in a wave of energy just before it explodes.
ChaoThing: Damn. Tough break Zin.
Zin: I can't believe it! I was SO close to killing the bastard!
Nuku: Don't worry Zin. We can still kill Bin Laden.
Bin Laden: HA HA HA HA! YOU CAN'T KILL ME!
Suddenly a government plane passes overhead, sucking Bin Laden into the engines and ejecting a large spray of blood and guts.
SuperKnux: Oh My God! They Killed Bin Laden!
Chao_Killer: Bush is DA MAN!
The plane lands and a large SWAT team appear, closely followed by the real President Bush.
Bush: Thunk ya giers fer savin' da werld frem dat terror.
Neon: Do we get a reward?
Bush: Yeh cain have this ere shiny stuff fer a reword.
All: SWEET!
President Bush hands out all of the medals. Hyper Knux tries to eat his.
Bush: Yeh ain't sup'osed teh eat it!
Hyper Knux: Who made you boss?
Bush: Dem der Amerikin people did. Hyper Knux: Oh.
President Bush goes back to his plane.
Bush: Ya'll come back now, ya ere?
Bush gets back into the plane. As the plane takes off, HyperSonicChao appears. He starts chewing on the Rubber Ducky King and punctures it. The air inflates HyperSonicChao at an alarming rate and he explodes.
Chao_Killer: HA HA!
ChaoThing: Hey wait a sec. HOW THE HELL ARE WE GONNA GET HOME?!
The gang starts chasing after the plane.
All: WAIT! DON’T LEAVE WITHOUT US!!!!!!!