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Our story begins in a dark room and we catch glimpse of the mysterious cloaked figure as lightning flashes outside near the window. Standing nearby we find Hinky, who is now talking to the figure.
Hinky: I’m sorry for failing you those last two times master. This time though I have a new plan. I’m going to make another bomb. And this time it will be of the explosive type!
The cloaked figure just stands there completely silent. His cold blank stare sends shivers down Hinky’s non-existent spine.
Hinky: You look angry master but I assure you that CoaP will be finished this time. You can count on me!
Hinky then floats on out of the room, as the cloaked figure remains still and completely silent. Who is the cold, dark, diabolic villain? And why is he after CoaP? Only time will tell…
Elsewhere we find the CoaP gang all in the SoaH machine driving along a long and lonesome road. A storm is brewing late at night and they are driving along the side of the woods.
Dawginson: I can’t believe I wasted my time coming with you guys on this crappy adventure. I could have been at home eating bacon!
Shuki: Um Dawg you’re eating bacon right now.
Dawginson: Yes but I’m not eating it at home now am I?
Shuki: Urgh…
Just then the van came to a stop near the edge of the woods. The road was closed and there was a detour sign pointing into the woods.
Ego God: Hey gang looks like we need to take a detour into the woods.
Hyper: Why can’t we just go straight?
Hedj: Hyper there’s a roadblock.
Hyper: So? As long as it’s not a vanblock were good.
Ego God: Hyper has anyone ever told you you’re an idiot?
Hyper: Yes about 27 people today so far. Anyway let’s just smash through that roadblock.
Darth: I hate to admit it but I agree with Hyper. We’ll just fly right through and destroy that roadblock!
Ego God: No were taking the damn detour!
Ego God turns the van and heads down the dirt path through the woods. After several minutes of driving the van mysteriously breaks down.
Shuki: Why aren’t we moving?
Ego God: Crap! The van broke down.
Hyper: You see! If we would have just plowed through the roadblock this wouldn’t have happened! Now were lost and stuck!
Dawginson: Lost… stuck…? But how will I get bacon!? I’m almost out!
Shuki: Calm down you guys. We just need to send someone for help.
Hedj: I don’t know Shuki. It’s kind of spooky out there, and a storms coming.
Hyper: And what idiot is going to go out in that?
Darth: I nominate Hyper.
Ego God: I second it.
Hyper: I third it… hey wait I’m Hyper!
Ego God: Brilliant deduction. Now get out there!
Ego God opens up the van door and he and DB throw him out.
Ego God: Now go and don’t come back without help!
Dawginson: Or bacon. Bring bacon too!
Hyper: I’m not wondering around in the woods! I’ll die!
Hedj: Maybe someone should go with him. To make sure he actually does what he’s suppose to.
Shuki: I guess I’ll go.
Darth: Your funeral.
Shuki: What was that?
Darth: I said you go girl.
Shuki: All right then.
And so Shuki joins Hyper and the two head off into the woods as the rest of the gang sits in the van.
Dawginson: So any of you read the newest issue of Four Bats? It was one of the best. But then again Four Bats is the best comic series ever so it’s only natural that each and every issue is reeking of awesomness.
Ego God: It’s ok I guess. I’ve made a few comics in my time actually…
Dawginson: Yeah that’s great Ego God but enough of you blabbing on about your comics. We need to be talking about Four Bats some more. Words alone can’t describe how great this series is. You need to go see it for yourselves!
Ego God: Blah…
All of a sudden two high pitched screams can be heard echoing through the woods.
Hedj: Oh no I just heard two women screaming!
Dawginson: Yeah the one sounded like Shuki but I didn’t recognize that other female scream.
Darth: I think it was Hyper.
Ego God: Hyper screaming is no surprise but Shuki too? They must seriously be in trouble gang! We need to go help!
Hedj: Yeah let’s go!
Dawginson: Yeah go team! I however should stay here and keep an eye on the van. Make sure no one steals it.
Ego God: Great thinking Dawg!
Darth: Damn it Ego Dude the vans broke, and were in the middle of nowhere. No ones going to steal it, Dawginson is just being lazy.
Dawginson: Hey you can never be to careful.
Ego God: Um… whatever. Stay if you want but Hedj, and Darth you two need to come. Now lets go!
And so Ego God, Hedj and Darth I headed off into the woods to find Hyper and Shuki leaving Dawginson alone in the van. Then after the awhile a tow-truck dove up behind the van. The door opened and Hinky in a repair man disguise got out. How he was just driving a tow-truck is mystery. As Hinky approaches the van Dawginson sees him through a window and comes out through the door.
Dawginson: Who are you?
Hinky: Greetings kind sir! I am an auto repairman and I am currently going from one broke down vehicle to the next making repairs.
Dawginson: How convenient this vehicle just so happens to be broke down! But wait a minute… how much does it cost? Cause I don’t have any money though I would be willing to show you the latest issue of Four Bats as payment.
Hinky: Tonight and tonight only we have a special offer. All repairs will be done for free and I’ll even shine your hubcaps! But you’ll need to go back inside the van so I can work distraction free.
Dawginson: Sounds good. I’ll leave you to your work.
Dawginson goes back inside the van and Hinky begins working on it. He climbs underneath the van and attempts to place a bomb on the bottom. After moments of struggling Dawginson comes back out.
Dawginson: Hey do you have some bacon on you by any chance?
Hinky: Nope sir afraid not!
Dawginson: Oh ok… hey what’s that you’re trying to place on the van?
Hinky: Oh this? This is a car bomb. I’m installing it so the van blows up and destroys the CoaP gang.
Dawginson: Oh really? Well this isn’t a car, it’s a van. And now that I look at it, that’s not a car bomb either.
Hinky: Really? What kind of bomb is it?
Dawginson: Judging by the size and shape of the device I’d say it’s a tow-truck bomb.
Hinky: Hey I have a tow-truck!
Dawginson: Yeah. He say how about I help you set that up on your ride?
Hinky: Ok!
And so Dawginson helps Hinky set the bomb up underneath the tow-truck.
Hinky: Thanks for the help sir! I can’t believe I almost installed the wrong kind of bomb on your van. Anyway your van should be working now. And I need to be off. There’s a lot of cars that need fixing out here!
Dawginson: I’m sure there are. Later and remember to check out the Four Bats website url I gave you.
Hinky: Sure thing sir! Cya later!
Hinky drives off in the tow-truck and as it pulls away the CoaP gang all come walking back.
Hedj: I still can’t believe you two were screaming because you saw smashed up DOA and Tekken game disks in the woods.
Shuki: Hey it was a frightening sight!
Hyper: The horror… the horror…
Darth: Is that a tow truck driving off?
Ego God: Yes! Hey get back here! We need help!
Ego God runs up to the van as Hinky drives off.
Ego God: Damn it!
Dawginson: It’s ok he fixed the van. And it was free too!
Shuki: For free? You sure it wasn’t Hinky trying to destroy us again?
Ego God: It couldn’t have been Hinky. Hinky has no arms and therefor can’t drive.
Shuki: Good point I guess.
Darth: Since the vans fixed lets get the hell out of here.
Everyone hops into the van and Ego God starts the van up. The engine revs a few times but then goes silent.
Ego God: Damn it! The van’s still broke!
Hedj: Well that explains why the repairs were free.
Ego God: For crying out loud!
So the CoaP gang remains stuck in the van as the storm finally breaks out and it starts pouring. Meanwhile we find Hinky driving the tow-truck down a road.
Hinky: Well what a nice fellow that Dawginson was. And smart too. I would have never known that was really a tow-truck… bomb!? Oh no…
As the truck continues going down the road the bomb under it goes off and there is a huge explosion. Hinky is left lying on the side of the road next to a fierily heap of metal all bruised up.
Hinky: Owww… Master wont be pleased… damn you Dawginson!