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The gang wake up one morning, walking downstairs to fetch breakfast...
Dawginson: Are you insane!? I don't FETCH breakfast. What do you think I am, a dog?
... right. The gang decide to have breakfast, but being lazy, nominate someone to make it for them based on gender stereotypes.
Dawginson: That's more like it.
Darth: Who the hell are you talking to?
Dawginson: Nobody. ... OHHH HEEEEDJ! THERE'S SOME BACON THAT NEEDS COOKING!
[cricket chirping]
Ego God: ... Hedj?
[tumbleweed rolls past]
Hyper: We meet again, my old nemesis! Enguarde!
Hyper dives on the tumbleweed. Shuki, Ego and Darth proceed to raise eyebrows.
Shuki: Uh, don't you think it's a little creepy that Hedj hasn't answered?
Dawginson: Nah, she's probably gone doing something. Like reading the awesomely fantastic new issue of Four Bats. I'm sure she's fine.
Ego God: She can't have gone far... After Hyper breaking all the windows I got steel shutters installed, and the door was locked last night...
Oddly, the couch seems to be shaking. Nobody notices this though, because the lack of breakfast is rather distracting. But then, of course, the tumbleweed decides to pull a fast one and roll over the couch, causing Hyper to fly into it.
Hyper: Damn you tumblewAAAH! [SMACK]
The couch is upturned and, lo and behold, underneath it is Hedj curled into foetal position, shaking.
Shuki: Hedj! Hedj, what's wrong?
Hedj: ... The... the co-- I mean, jocks!
Hedj winks a little at Shuki. She knew what this meant, but nobody else did.
Hyper: What, the jocks are back?
Hedj: Erm... yeah...
Ego God: What are you doing hanging around with jocks?
Darth: I don't think it's jocks.
The gang look down at Hedj suspiciously. She gets up and runs to the kitchen.
Hedj: WELLGOTTAMAKEBREAKFAST!
Shuki: Hm...
Outside, at the window...
Hinky: Jocks, eh? Maybe I can take advantage of this! ... But where do I find jocks? ... My master will know!
Hinky floats away... but Hyper looks out of the window and points, gasping.
Hyper: It's Hinky! He's escaping! ... Gradually!
Darth: Damn that's slow.
Later...
[Ding-dong!]
Dawginson: Hedj, get the door, I'm too lazy.
Hedj: [unease] But you're only a few steps away from it! I'm further away!
Dawginson: But I still have to get up. You're already standing.
Hedj: Oh alright...
Hedj goes to answer the door. Her fur and hair raise on end when she sees something incredibly horrific...
Hinky: [dressed as a jock (with some chav, too!)] Yeah, wuddup nigga!
Hedj: ...
Hyper: Oh crap, it's a jock! Run Hedj!
Shuki proceeds to slap her forehead and shake her head. Ego God and Darth glance over to her. Dawginson is too lazy to care.
Hedj: Erm... Guys... I, uh... kinda have a confession to make.
Hinky: Wiggedy-WHAT!? Homie, I ain't jiggy wit dis!
Hinky, for a lack of limbs, throws himself at Hedj.
Hedj: I-- EEK! [THUD]
Hyper: AAH! RAPE!
Shuki: Pickles don't have genitals.
Darth: Probably for the better.
Ego God: Hinky, get off Hedj right now!
Hinky rolls about a bit, struggling. Hedj winces.
Hinky: I can't! The cheap gol-- I mean... I'm no Hinkz, I'm MC Picklez! An' I can't get upizzle! Mah bling's weighin' me down homeslice!
Ego God literally picks Dawginson up and has him and Shuki help with pulling Hinky off of Hedj, though Dawg is rather reluctant. Hyper is still panicking over the idea of a pickle raping a leowulf.
Hinky: I'm off! ... izzle!
And the rather horrifying Hinky escapes. Gradually.
Hyper: What a jock.
Ego God: You were saying something Hedj?
Hedj: Uh, no... nothing. Not at all.