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At the CoaP warehouse everyone is playing cards...
Hedj: Okay Hyper, do you call or fold?
Hyper: Go fish!
Hedj: Uh, no, Hyper... we're playing strip poker, not go fish.
Hyper: Go fish!
Darth: Ugh. Please don't tell me we're going to have to put up with this all day.
Hedj: Why don't you just show me your hand, Hyper?
Hyper reveals his hand: a 2, 5, 7, 10, J. Hedj reveals a Full House.
Hedj: Congratulations, you lose again. Start stripping.
Hyper: Aw, but I'm all out of clothes!
Hedj grabs a razor.
Hedj: What about that fur coat of yours?
Suddenly, the radio turns on.
Radio: We interupt your pitiful, meaningless existence to bring you this special news report! Someone has stolen candy from a baby! I repeat, someone has stolen candy from a baby! We now go live to the baby who this atrocious crime was commited against!
Baby: A goo bah boo. Pzzt!
Radio: I couldn't have put it better myself. The candy in question is described as a red lollipop, about the size of the average person's head. If you have any information relating to this crime please call someone who gives a flying crap.
The radio clicks off.
Shuki: That's awful! Who could do such a thing!?
Dawginson: Yeah. That's almost as awful as my comic, Four Bats.
Shuki: Huh?
Ego God: Y'know guys, it has been a long time since we've solved a good mystery. What do you say we get to the bottom of this?
Hyper: I guess it couldn't hurt. I mean the van is collecting dust.
Cut to the garage. There is a giant dustball in place of where the van used to be.
CoaP warehouse...
Shuki: Ego God is right, anything is better than sitting around in this old dump.
Hyper: Okay Ego, just give us the signal!
Ego God: Let's split up, gang!
The CoaP van speeds across the highway, swerving left and right, just barely dodging traffic.
Shuki: O-okay Hyper, I think it's time you let Ego God take over driving for a while.
Hyper: Aw man, I was going for a high score!
Ego God shoves Hyper out of the driver's seat.
Ego God: Alright, now the radio announcer said the candy was a lollipop, right? Where's the best place to get a lollipop in town?
The gang stops to ponder for a minute then...
All: Bob's Lollipop Emporium!
The van stops at the candy shop. The gang piles out and enters. At the desk is Bob, the store's owner.
Bob: Hi there folks, how can I help you?
Ego God: Alright, we know you sold that lollipop to that baby. Now we want answers!
The gang pulls the clerk into a dark room and shines a lamp in his face.
Ego God: Let me explain how this works. You give us the answers we want or my big, hairy russian friend will redefine pain for you.
Ego God points to Darth Bowser, who flexes his muscles.
Bob: Yipes! I don't want any trouble, mister!
Ego God: Alright then. Where is that baby you sold the lollipop too?
Bob: W-which one?
Ego God: Pavlov? Refresh his memory for me, will you?
Darth Bowser takes a lemon and squirts the juice in his eye.
Bob: Ahhhhhhhh! It stings!
Ego God: Alright then, I'll ask you again. Where did the baby you sold the lollipop to go?
Bob: I swear mister, I have no idea who you're talking about!
Ego God: Pavlov... pour hot coffee on his pants.
Darth Bowser takes the coffee and pours it on Bob's pants.
Bob: Ahhhhhhhhhhh! It burns! It burns!
Hyper: I can't watch! I'm too squeemish!
Ego God: It's the only way to get these criminal types to talk, Hyper. Why don't you give it a try?
Hyper: Alright. Uh... where was I on the night of July 17th, 1994?
Bob: I really don't see how that's relavent--
Hyper slaps Bob across the face.
Hyper: I'm answering the questions around here, dirtbag!
Ego God: Alright, maybe this is best left to the professionals. Now answer our first question... or Pavlov will put your head through the ceiling fan.
Darth Bowser cracks his knuckles.
Bob: Alright alright, I'll talk! I think I remember the baby you're talking about! His name is Jimmy! Jimmy Mc... uh... Yaggermanjenson! Now please... g-go away!
Ego God: Alright, we'll leave.
The gang makes for the door.
Ego God: Wait, not you Hyper. Stay here and slap him for a little while longer.
Hyper: Yay!
Ego God and the rest of the gang are flipping through the phone book.
Ego God: A-ha! Right here! Just as he said it! "Jimmy Mc ... uh... Yaggermanjenson".
Dawginson: What a stupid name. Almost as stupid as my stupid comics. Boy, my comics sure are stupid. Right guys?
Hedj: Yeah. Sure.
Ego God: Autobots, roll out!
The CoaP gang arrive at Jimmy's house. Jimmy is outside in a wagon.
Ego God: Alright Jimmy, we're here to help you find your lollipop. Any information you could give us would prove useful.
Jimmy: Blah jah googy goo goo!
Ego God: Fascinating. And you say the culprit had a bad odor?
Jimmy: Yah bagga boo boo.
Ego God: Great. Thanks Jimmy, you've really helped us out here.
Shuki: Ego, I didn't know you spoke baby.
Ego God: Huh? No. That wasn't baby, that was French.
The gang is now walking through the park.
Ego God: Okay, so here's what we have so far: the culprit smelled really bad.
Dawginson: Yeah, that kind of reminds me of my latest comic. Y'know, cause it stunk and everything.
Shuki: Yeah okay Dawginson, we get it. Your comics suck.
Hedj: Hey look guys, it's Hyper!
Hyper approaches. He is holding a giant red lollipop.
Hyper: Hey guys, what's up?
Ego God: Uh... hey. Where'd you get that lollipop from?
Hyper: Oh, this? I stole it from some baby named Jimmy. It was just as easy as everyone said it would it be.
Shuki: A-ha! So Hyper was the thief all along!
Another Hyper approaches from behind.
Another Hyper: I was? Wow. Not even I knew! It's the perfect crime!
Ego God: Wait, what the--? How did you... I mean... how the hell can there be two Hypers?
Hedj: One of them is a phoney!
Hedj walks up to the Hyper holding a lollipop and pulls down a zipper on the back of his head, revealing Dawginson underneath a costume.
Dawginson: Sup?
Ego God: What the--!? Dawginson!?
Another Hyper: Oh my god, I was Dawginson this whole time!? Now it all makes sense!
Ego God: But if that's Dawginson, then who's been following us around all day?
Ego God unzips a zipper behind Dawginson's head and reveals Hinky underneath.
Hinky: Drat!
Ego God: Hinky? Just what do you think you're doing?
Hinky: I was trying to ruin Dawginson's reputation until you jerks ruined it for me! Master will not be pleased!
Hedj: Whatever.
Hedj punts Hinky into the clouds.
Hinky: It looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!
Cut back to the warehouse.
Ego God: Alright Dawginson, I can kind of understand you stealing a lollipop but why did you have to do it disguised as Hyper?
Dawginson: I had to keep warm somehow, so I just brought the fur coat I won off Hyper in strip poker last week!
The whole gang bursts out laughing.
All: Ha ha ha ha ha! He made a callback! What a goof! Ha ha ha ha ha!
Meanwhile, in a dark room, Hinky stands before his master.
Hinky: I'm sorry master, there was nothing I could do. They were far too clever! Can you forgive me, please?
The cloaked figure just stands silently, staring coldly at Hinky.
Hinky: I see... your silence says it all, master...