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All the gang except Hyper are sitting in the warehouse as usual. They are watching TV. Then, the phone rings.
Dawginson: Gah. Someone wanna get that?
Ego God: Why? It’s just Hyper prank calling us for April Fools day again.
The doorbell rings.
Ego God: And I’ll bet that’s Hinky trying to kill us again.
Dawginson: Ooh I have an idea! Lets vote on who’s plan will be stupider out of Hyper’s and Hinky’s.
Darth: Tough call.
Dawginson: Well I’ll get the door. Someone get that damn phone before the ringing drives me crazy.
Hedj: I got it.
Hedj answers the phone and Dawginson answers the door. Hinky is there in a small inflatable boat, and he is wearing a sailor’s cap.
Dawginson: …hi. Nice boat.
Hinky: Yes it is! I’m a salesman you see. And I’ve come to sell you this for a special low price!
Hinky holds up a present with a fuse poking out of it. The fuse is slowly hissing away.
Dawginson: You do realise salesmen have nothing to do with boat sails, or sailors, right?
Hinky: What?! Of course they do! I mean uh, I would know, I’m the salesman here after all.
Dawginson: Right. So what is it you’re selling there?
Hinky: A bomb. I mean it’s a secret! Err, a secret bomb. Like, it’s so good, it’s da bomb. That’s why I said that. It’s not going to explode and kill you.
Dawginson: How much is it?
Hinky: It’s totally free!
Dawginson: Free? Damn, we’re broke at the moment man. I don’t think we can afford it.
Hinky: …oh, okay! Sure! Seeya later then!
Dawginson: Seeya Hinky. And hey don’t forget to open your present.
Dawginson closes the door. A second later there is an explosion from outside. Dawginson turns around to see that Hedj is still talking to Hyper on the phone.
Hedj: And you say you’ll give me a lifetimes supply of these “wet willies” you speak of if I yell out “penis” really loud? Really? Wow that sounds like a really good deal. I’ll tell you what, I won’t do it, but I if YOU yell out “penis” really loud, I’ll give you a lifetimes supply of slaps in the face. Deal? Awesome. Okay bye Hyper.
Hedj hangs up.
Darth: I think that one was a tie.
Shuki: Those guys get stupider and stupider every day.
Dawginson: Actually that’s not true. Hinky’s plan yesterday was definitely stupider.
Flashback to yesterday. Dawginson is in the main room with Hinky.
Hinky: Hey Dawginson, eat this bacon sandwich.
Dawginson: Sure.
Dawginson eats the sandwich.
Hinky: Now eat this poison.
Dawginson: No.
Hinky: Aww man.
Dawginson: You know I probably would have fallen for that if you’d put the poison IN the sandwich.
Hinky: Great idea! Be right back!
5 minutes later…
Hinky: Hey Dawginson! Eat this bacon sandwich.
Dawginson: Sure.
Dawginson eats the sandwich.
Hinky: Now eat this poison.
Dawginson: No. You know, I probably would’ve fallen for that if you’d put the poison IN the sandwich.
Hinky: Great idea! Be right back!
Hinky leaves.
Dawginson: I love my life.
Back to the present.
Shuki: Yeah fair point. I guess that wasn’t the stupidest thing Hyper has ever done either.
Flashback to yesterday. Hyper is in the main room with Hinky.
Hinky: Hey Hyper, eat this bacon sandwich.
Hyper: Sure.
Hyper eats the sandwich.
Hinky: Now eat this poison.
Hyper: Sure!'
Back to the present.
Shuki: I just can’t believe he keeps prank calling us from hospital. Why do they give him a phone?
Ego God: I just want to know who the hell keeps telling Hinky to kill us.
The doorbell rings again. Dawginson answers it. Hinky is there dressed in a pie costume with several dead rats selotaped to it.
Dawginson: Let me guess. You’re a pirate? Pie-rat, right?
Hinky: What? What are you talking about? I’m an accountant.
Dawginson: …oh. Of course, how silly of me. Hello Mr.Accountant.
Hinky: Hello sir/madam! I recently went through your taxes and noticed you paid us too much. So as a refund have this special free gift!
Hinky holds up yet another bomb inside a present. A long fuse is very obviously sticking out and slowly burning down. Dawginson takes the present.
Dawginson: Wow, thanks! But I can’t just take this from you without giving you something in return. Here, have this!
Dawginson gives Hinky back the same present.
Hinky: Wow thanks! You sure are nice people! See you later!
Dawginson shuts the door. There’s another loud explosion from outside.
Hedj: You know this is getting ridiculous. Maybe we should just-
Darth: Nuke him?
Dawginson: Eat bacon?
Hedj: -no, we should just-
Dawginson: Read Four Bats.
Hedj: -no! How would that even help? We need to follow Hinky to see where he goes. He must report back to his master eventually.
Dawginson: Great idea! Then we can convince his master to read Four Bats!
Darth: Are you sure we can’t just nuke him?
Ego God: No nuking! And definitely no more talking about Four Bats. Hedj is right, we need to follow Hinky.
Dawginson: If I can’t convince anyone to read Four Bats then I’m not coming.
Ego God: You never come anyway, you’re always too lazy.
Dawginson: Alright then I’ll come!
Ego God: …okay then. We just need to wait for-
The doorbell rings again. Ego God answers it, and snatches the present from Hinky immediately.
Hinky: Hey! Give that back!
Ego God: Sure.
Ego God gives Hinky the present, closes the door and once again there is an explosion outside. Ego God opens the door again.
Ego God: Okay gang, lets.-
Hinky is lying on the floor smouldering.
Ego God: Huh. Maybe we should leave it a few minutes before we follow him.
Later that day. Hinky is in his master’s lair talking. Suddenly the CoaP gang (minus Hyper) bust in.
Ego God: AHA!
Hinky screams like a girl. His master says nothing.
Shuki: The game’s up Hinky!
Hinky: Don’t worry master, I’ll protect you! Hey Ego God, eat this bacon sandwich.
Ego God: You don’t even HAVE a bacon sandwich this time.
Hinky: Well then eat this poison.
Ego God: You don’t have poison either.
Hinky: Oh. Well then what was I going to do?
Ego God: You were going to turn on the lights so we can see who your master really is!
A cloaked figure is shrouded in darkness in the corner. Hinky hits the lights and all is revealed…
Dawginson: What the crap.
Ego God: Uhh.
Hinky: What?
Hedj: Hinky. That’s just an old cloak on a coat stand.
Hinky: Well whaddya know.
Dawginson: I’m confused. If it’s just an old cloak then how does it tell Hinky what to do?
Shuki: Hey, hang on. Listen for a second.
The gang listen. There is a muffled sound coming through one of the walls.
Ego God: I think the person that lives next door just has the TV on.
Shuki: So Hinky’s been doing what an old cloak and a TV tells him to do?
Hedj: Are you surprised?
Hinky: I’m confused.
Hinky: Sure thing buddy!
Ego God: Great. Let’s go home gang. Hyper will probably try to prank call us again soon. That guy really needs to work harder on his April Fools day pranks.
The gang leave.
Hinky: April Fools day eh? I get it! They’re just trying to trick me into believing my master doesn’t exist! Master, what should I do?
TV from next door: Hungry? Grab a Snickers! Snickers is a delicious chocolate bar containing nougat, peanuts and caramel all wrapped in a tasty chocolate shell!
Hinky: You got it! I’ll go buy one right away!