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Our story begins with Shuki, Hedj, Hyper and Dawginson playing cards. No wait… Hinky had a story that started off like that… so instead they are playing… Battleship! Yeah… tag-team Battleship! It’s Shuki and Hedj vs. Hyper and Dawginson in an exciting game of Battleship!
Hyper: B2. Ah crap I sunk my battle ship!
Dawginson: Damn it Hyper the point is to sink their battle ship!
Shuki: Well looks like you we win again.
Hyper: Awww man.
Dawginson: This is stupid… who ever heard of tag-team Battleship anyway?
Hedj: I dunno… maybe we could play another game. How about Monopoly?
Dawginson: Takes to long.
Shuki: And it confuses Hyper too much.
Hyper: Oh! Oh! Let’s play Candy Land!
Hedj: We can’t you ate the Gingerbread men last time we tried playing.
Hyper: Oh yeah… well how was I supposed to know they weren’t edible gingerbread men?
Shuki: They were made of plastic!
Dawginson: Let’s play Connect Four. You know cause it has the word four in it. Like Four Bats, the greatest comic ever.
Hedj: Can’t Hyper ate all the black game pieces.
Hyper: I thought they were Oreo’s.
Just then Ego God and Darth Bowser come walking into the room. They sit down with the rest of the gang.
Shuki: Hey guys.
Ego God: Hey gang. It seems we have a problem we need to discuss.
Hedj: What seems to be this problem Ego-san?
Dawginson: It’s Hyper isn’t it? Were going to have to put him down?
Ego God: No no nothing like that. It would seem that CoaP is unoriginal.
Darth: Well maybe I could nuke…
Ego God: No that won’t work. See we need to do new and different things. We can’t have you Darth going around wanting to nuke stuff because it’s been done to many times now.
Darth: What!? That’s an outrage!
Ego God: And Hyper you can’t drink beer anymore. You’ve been doing that since the beginning and it’s getting really old. From now on you will drink water.
Hyper: Water!?
Ego God: And even though Dawginson is new his bacon fetish is also really getting old. From now on Dawginson will eat apples.
Dawginson: The hells an apple?
Hedj: What about me?
Shuki: Yeah and me?
Ego God: Well Hedj is hiding from the co… er “jocks” and that’s a running gag from the last season. And now it was brought back up in this season. And ripping off old CoaP stories is unoriginal. From now on Hedj will… um… become second in command! Yes she shall be my assistant and… do stuff.
Hedj: Yay stuff!
Ego God: As for Shuki she beats my ass in Tekken all the time. We can’t do this anymore because people complained saying Shuki needs to get up and do something else. So from now on Shuki will cook and clean for us.
Shuki: The hell I will!
Ego God: That’s the spirit!
Shuki: That’s sarcasm.
Hyper: Since when did they change the word spirit to sarcasm?
Darth: Beats me. But haven’t we pretty much just broken the fourth wall throughout this whole episode?
Ego God: Ah crap your right! And people do that all the time is comics so that means it unoriginal and unfunny. Damn it…
Dawginson: This reminds me of Issue #16 of Four Bats. This giant killer robot broke down the fourth wall and…
Ego God: Dawginson you also can’t advertise Four Bats anymore or ever even mention it again as it also getting really old and stale.
Dawginson: What!? Why don’t you just ask me to go die!?
Darth: Um so what do we do now?
Ego God: We need to come up with an original idea to do.
Hedj: How about we do a parody of a TV show?
Ego God: Can’t since the author of this episode is Shaun it would be considered a rip-off instead of a parody. And therefore it would not be funny.
Shuki: How about we actually leave the warehouse and go on an adventure?
Ego God: No we used to do that all the time in the old CoaP stories. Doing that would be ripping off the old stories and that would make it unoriginal and unfunny.
Dawginson: What the hell are we supposed to do then?
Hyper: Yeah CoaP use to be all about doing parodies and was well known for it’s running gags. Now you say we need to be different?
Ego God: Yes I’m afraid so.
Darth: I think that’s a load of bull.
Everyone nods their heads in agreement.
Ego God: Well we’ll just have to think of something different.
Hours pass and the gang just sits there thinking of ideas. Just then Hinky crashes through the skylight in the roof.
Hinky: Hahaha! I am here to kill you all! This time I won’t fail!
Ego God: Damn it Hinky were trying to be original here and you have to go and crash through the skylight!
Hyper: Yeah Cal and me did that in an old episode!
Hinky: Oh sorry. Should I go use the door?
Shuki: No don’t bother. Since we have to be original know I guess you can’t kill us.
Hedj: She’s right. You’ve tried like 20 times and it’s really old now.
Hinky: Well then what should I do?
Dawginson: Go make me some ba… er give us… flowers?
Hinky: Splendid idea! I’ll be back soon with flowers!
Hinky floats off out the front door and the gang continues sitting around the warehouse.
Darth: Well this sucks…
Dawginson: Sure does…
Hyper: Yeah know what? Fuck it. Who gives a shit if the stories use the same jokes as running gags and do parodies of TV shows or movies? Who cares if we rip off old CoaP stories. What’s the big fricking deal?
Ego God: It’s unoriginal…
Hyper: I don’t care! The hell with originality! Everything rips off everything else! It’s how things work. Everything’s been done! Look at The Simpson’s! They’ve done everything cause they’ve been on forever!
Shuki: Hyper’s right!
Hedj: Yeah!
Dawginson: So now I can eat bacon and advertise Four Bats?
Hyper: Hell yeah you can! And Darth can buy guns and use nukes and both him and me can drink beer! Hedj can continue to hide from the Jocks and Shuki can play Tekken all she wants!
Everyone cheers but Ego God.
Ego God: What about me?
Hyper: And Ego God can say, “Let’s Split Up Gang!” at the worse possible times! Who cares if it’s an old joke from the original CoaP?
Ego God: Woo! Let’s split up gang!
Everyone: Ya!
As the gang all get up Hinky comes back holding a bunch of flowers.
Hinky: Hey guys I got you flowers!
Everyone stares at Hinky and starts laughing.
Hinky: What? What!?
Just then a massive support beam that was loosened from Hinky’s earlier entrance broke free and fell down striking the CoaP gang and killing them all.
Hinky: I did it… I did it! Wooo! Master will be pleased!
Cut secene to show the gang in heaven.
Ego God: Were dead aren’t we?
Hedj: Afraid so.
Shuki: It kind of figures that as soon as Hinky stops trying to kill us, he actually does.
Hedj: Irony.
Hyper: Weeee! Look at me I can fly!
Darth: How did Hyper manage to get in here?
Ego God: I would have to ask you the same Darth.
Shuki: And where is Dawginson?
Cut to a scene of Dawginson trapped in hell.
Dawginson: And that’s why you should go view Four Bats and give me lots of bacon.
Satan: Enough already! I can’t take it anymore!
Dawginson: Me neither. You should really turn on the AC.
Satan: Argh!!!!!