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It’s an average day at the CoaP warehouse. It’s been a little over two weeks since the release of Nintendo’s Super Smash Bros. Brawl and Zin is found playing the games on a constant basis much to the annoyance of the rest of the gang who would like to use the big screen TV for something besides Brawl.
Neon: Zin don’t you think it’s time you take a break from that game?
Zin: What are you talking about? I stopped playing last night for an entire 4 hours while I slept!
Nuku: Really now there’s other things to do besides play Super Smash Bros. Brawl all the time.
Neon: Yeah like playing some games on the 360.
Zin: Pfft 360 sucks. Wii is where it’s at.
Neon: Your kidding right? What does Wii have for it right now that’s big besides Brawl? The whole thing is just a big gimmick. Xbox 360 is the far more superior console.
Zin puts down his Wii remote and stands up to face Neon.
Zin: Oh yeah then why does the Wii sell so well? It’s been out for a year and half and you still can’t find them! I’m so glad I pre-ordered mine.
Neon: Because it’s a gimmick concolse, it apeals to none gamers!
Just then Hyper and CK both walk into the room.
CK: Yo guys what’s going on?
Nuku: Zin and Neon are fighting over what’s better, the Wii or the Xbox 360. Personally I think 360’s the better system. Way more games I enjoy and Xbox Live is way better then Wii’s online capabilities.
CK: Oh come on now. At least with the Wii you can play games online for free.
Neon: Yeah what games they have. What can you play online besides Brawl anyway?
Zin: The Wii’s just starting out, soon they’re will be Mario Kart Wii and a bunch of other titles and features. And as CK said it’s free online unlike Xbox Live.
CK: Yeah I totally agree with Zin that Wii is the better console.
Nuku: Well I agree with Neon that the 360 is better, but what about you Hyper?
Zin: Yeah Hyper, you’ve been pretty quiet. You agree with CK and me that the Wii is better right?
Hyper: Well I…
Neon: No Hyper thinks 360 is best, he’s on live all the time!
CK: Hyper’s down with Nintendo! He could never like 360 as much as the Wii!
Hyper: Well actually I like both… and…. Uhhh….
Nuku: Well?
Hyper: Uhhh… Hail Dreamcast!
Hyper then darts out of the room just as SuperKnux was walking in.
SuperKnux: What the heck was that all about?
Nuku: We were trying to get Hyper to tell us which system he thought was better, 360 or Wii.
Zin: Speaking of which, what’s your opinion?
SuperKnux: Huh? I don’t really play video games anymore guys.
CK: So… you’re a PS3 fanboy?
SuperKnux: What? No I don’t own a PS3 or anything else. I just don’t play games anymore. But that Dreamcast was pretty damn sweet.
Neon: Hmmm you know what, now that CK mentioned it we can’t really have this argument without a Sony fanboy.
Zin: Your right… but who do we know who has any Sony consoles?
Nuku: Hyper has a PSP.
Neon: That’s right! No wonder he ran off when he did, he must be a Sony fanboy!
CK: Quick to Hyper’s room!
We quickly cut to Neon, Zin, Nuku and CK in Hyper’s room surrounding him as he’s seen playing a game in his room.
Hyper: The hell do you guys want? I’m trying to play Crazy Taxi here.
Zin: You may be playing the Sega Dreamcast right now and you may own both a Xbox 360 and a Nintendo Wii but we know your secret!
Hyper: What!? Who told you guys about my cross dressing!? I swear it was for Halloween only!
Zin: Wuh… what!? That has nothing to do with what I was talking about!
Hyper: Uh… I knew that! I’m drunk what I just said was a drunken rant! Forget it was ever said!
Nuku: We’ll try hard.
Neon: Yeah and the secret Zin was really talking about is that you’re a Sony fanboy!
Hyper: What!? That’s ridiculous! I don’t like Sony at all!
CK: Then why do you own a PSP!? It’s because you love Sony! I bet you have a Playstation hidden here somewhere too.
Hyper: Um yeah I own a PSP but I mostly use it to listen to music on. And the four games I do own for it were all published by Sega.
Nuku: Speaking of Sega Hyper sure has a lot of their consoles.
Neon: Yeah he does, he has the Genesis complete with the CD and 32X attachments. He even has a Game Gear!
Zin: Yeah… hey wait a minute! Hyper is a Sega fanboy!
CK: Ah yes the Sega fanboy, they are a dying breed.
Hyper: Wow you guys catch on fast. I fucking love Sega. Now could you please leave me alone, I’d like to play Jet Grind Radio for a while.
Neon: Fine but we still need to find a Sony fanboy.
Hyper: Go bother Supafly, he just got a PS3.
Nuku: That’s right he did!
CK: Quick to Supafly’s house!
We quickly cut to inside Supafly’s house to see Neon, Zin, Nuku and CK surrounding Supafly as he plays MGS4.
Supafly: What are you guys doing in my…
The gang: We need a Sony fanboy!
Supafly: Uhhh, but I’m not a…
The gang: Too late!
Supafly: Awww man… I had to get the PS3… How did you guys get in here anyway?
CK: You should pick a better place to hide your spare house key then in the fake plastic rock.
Supafly: Ah man I love that thing though.
Neon: Enough about that we are here today to have a console war. Now obviously the 360 is the best system. Wii is a cheap gimmick system anyone and there grandma would buy and the PS3 is an overpriced hunk of junk with a small library of exclusives.
Zin: Ridicules! The Wii just offers something for everyone and has some of the most unique titles you’ll ever find! Nintendo once again leads the way in innovations with the Wii. The 360 and PS3 may have the better graphics but when it comes down to games that are just plain fun you want the Wii.
Nuku: Yeah the Wii has a few interesting titles that Nintendo came up with. What about third party titles though? The Wii misses out on all kinds of games because it isn’t powerful enough to handle them. And if it does get them then it’s watered down compared to the 360 and PS3 versions.
CK: Yeah but on the Wii things can get even more interesting. The game may not look as nice as on the 360 or PS3 but it’s going to have plenty of extra features and a more unique style of gameplay.
Neon: Yeah well Xbox 360 has Xbox live which is filled with all kinds of downloadable content for games and also has all kinds of arcade games you can buy!
Zin: Wii has all kinds of games you can buy as well but has a much larger selection. How often does the Xbox Live Arcade even update?
Nuku: It has a larger selection because of all the Nintendo titles they have. Microsoft obviously can’t put Nintendo games up in the arcade.
Neon: Hey and at least with the game for Xbox Life Marketplace they had achievements and muti-player support if possible. Does the Wii do that?
CK: No but… um… Wii is really awesome. Xbox 360 sucks!
Neon: Yeah you guys keep telling yourself that! We all know 360 is the best! End of discussion.
Everyone pauses for a moment staring at each other.
Supafly: Uhh… PS3 has Metal Gear Soild 4?
Everyone: Shut up Supa!
Just then Cal comes crashing through the ceiling of Supafly’s house.
Supafly: Awww man this day just keeps getting worse for me.
Cal: Mmmmmyesss!!!!
Zin: What the heck do you want Cal!
Cal: Silence Zim! I am here to inform you that you’re all incorrect! No console is better then the other. The Xbox 360, Sony PS3 and Nintendo Wii all have their strengths and weaknesses. In the end what really matters is the games, as long as a console has good games, games you enjoy playing then for you that console is good. But what people view as a good game varies from person to person so in the end it’s only a matter of opinion. You can argue all you want but you can’t truly prove you favorite console the best because others have different opinions then you!
Zin: My name is Zin you dumb ass!
Cal: Did you even listen to a word I just said?
Nuku: I did and as much as I hate to admit I think Cal is right. All this fighting is pointless, amongst us we have almost everyone video game system and we should make the best of it and enjoy them all.
CK: Yeah I guess I can agree to that.
Neon: Me too I guess.
Cal: Mmmyesss!!! Now that we all agree that those consoles are all about equal we can celebrate the console that truly is the best of them all. The Nokia N-Gage!
Zin: What!?
Supafly: He truly is evil!
Cal: Mmmmmyesss!!!!! Mwhahahaha!!!! On a scale of 1 to 10 your consoles of choice would be the 1 and the Nokia N-Gage would be the 10! Mmmmyessss and now it’s time for me to…. It’s time I…
Nuku: It’s time for you to reveal your plan to us?
Cal: Mmmyesss!!! But…. I don’t have a plan this time…
Neon: In that case let’s get him gang!
Cal: Hey wait a minute!
Neon, Zin, Nuku and CK quickly pick up blunt objects and chase Cal out the front door screaming at him.
Supafly: Good riddance.
Supafly slams the door shut as the gang begins to gain on Cal as they chase him down the street pass the warehouse.
SuperKnux: Hey Hyper it looks like the gangs about to beat up Cal!
Hyper comes running outside as the gang passes by.
Hyper Knux: Sweet! Let's join them, I got the baseball bats!
SuperKnux: Brilliant idea!
The scene cuts to the entire gang chasing Cal now and gaining fast as Cal suddenly trips and falls to the ground, the CoaP gang quickly jump him and begin to kick his ass when suddenly Hyper swings with the baseball bat and launches him into the air.
Cal: It looks like team Cal is blasting off again!!!
Cal is shown flying through the sky until he becomes just a dot.
Neon: Well it would seem we’ve taken out Cal once again gang!
Zin: Good riddance.
Neon: Indeed, now let’s get back to the warehouse and play some video games!
The Gang: YEAH!!!
SuperKnux: Wait I don’t play video games anymore.
Everyone: Super, shut up!