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Someone Offered the Spring
By: NukuNukuCat

The gang are all driving down the road in their ugly green van. Nuku Nuku is driving, while the guys, Zin, Hyper Knux, Neon, and Chao Killer splash beer all over each other singing.

GUYS: I want you, all tattooed, I want you baaaad!!!

NUKU: The Offspring is cool and all, but do we have to listen to them all the time?

HYPER KNUX: I thought you didn't like the Offspring!?

NUKU: mutter, mutter

RADIO ANNOUNCER: We interrupt I Want You Bad by the Offspring to announce that Nuku actually likes cool music that everyone else likes and she wishes they knew that.

HYPER: O.o

NEON: o.O

CHAO_KILLER: O.O

ZIN: Jinkies!

NUKU: -.-'

RADIO ANNOUNCER: She also wonders how she got voted nicest person and everyone makes her a mean and boring stick in the mud in these stories.

GUYS: X,x

NUKU: Okay, um, let's just keep driving. We'll listen to the radio instead...

Some time passes.

RADIO ANNOUNCER: We interrupt Right Now by SR71 to announce that you'll no longer hear Offspring music on the radio because they have mysteriously disappeared! Along with their entire stock of beer!

HYPER AND CK: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

ZIN: Jinkies! We gotta do something!

NEON: Let's split up gang!

NUKU: We don't even know where to look!!

Suddenly a bird splats on the window because Nuku wasn't looking where she was driving. She slams on the brakes, throwing all the unbuckled guys into the floorboard.

ZIN: Jinkies! I think you broke my freakin neck!!

HYPER: I think my precious beer is about to come up!

CK AND NEON: Ouch... x.x

NUKU: Quit whining and look! It's a clue!!

Sure enough, the bird has a note tied to its neck. It says, "The chao, the chao!!"

CK: That's Dexter Holland's handwriting!!

ZIN: How did you know?

CK: I have no idea.

NEON: To the chao garden!!

Tires squeal as they drive off towards the garden, leaving the poor dead splatted bird on the side of the road.

NEON: Here we are at the chao garden!

NUKU: That's pretty obvious. What do we do now?

ZIN: Let's split up, gang! Wait, um...

HYPER KNUX: Jinkies!

Chao Killer (pulls out two missile launchers from thin air): This is my specialty!!

CK blows the doors down. When the smoke clears, they step inside. They see tons of chao, and sitting in the middle of them in what looks like a big pot is the Offspring!

NEON: (Jumps on the nearest chao and starts tugging on its face.) I knew it was you, Mr. Johnson! You wanted to have them sing just for you and deprive us of our lovely music!

ZIN: Jinkies! His theory almost makes sense!

CK: That's not how you do it!!

CK starts blasting all the chao away. Nuku covers her eyes.

DEXTER: Stop! STOP!!

CK drops his guns and everyone looks at the band.

DEXTER: What the heck do you think you're doing??

HYPER KNUX: Why didn't he cuss or something?

ZIN: Nuku's writing this, remember?

NUKU: phhhpptttt!!

DEXTER: These chao invited us here for a party! They're big fans!

NEON: But they're cooking you!

DEXTER: This is an above ground spa!

CK pulls out a big nuke.

CK: I don't believe you! They've been brainwashed, gang!! Get them out of here!

HYPER KNUX: Noooooo, the lovely beer!!

Nuku, Zin, and Neon drag the band out of the door, while Hyper Knux runs around picking up as many beer bottles as he can. CK sets the timer on the nuke and runs out the door. The van zooms away as the chao garden explodes and leaves a mushroom cloud.

Three days later...Everyone is driving around in the van again.


NUKU: Either this thing has incredible gas mileage or we're rich.

NEON: A mystery! Let's split up!

CK: Nuku, your title was stupid! The Offspring weren't offered, they're still alive!

NUKU: Well they wouldn't have been if I hadn't drove away from that bomb of yours fast enough!

ZIN: Jinkies! A fight!

RADIO ANNOUNCER: In the news today, I didn't interrupt a song this time. In music news, the Offspring have produced a new chart-topping hit about five idiots that come and take them away from their cool chao party and blow up the chao garden.

GANG: WE'RE FAMOUS!!

And they drive off into the sunset singing along, "Everything was fine till those idiots showed up..."



The End

*Shauniversal Studios*