 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
The gang, Hyper Knux, Neon Chaos, Chao Killer, Nuku, Zin, and SuperKnux are in the van, on their way to San Francisco to become video game stars.
All (singing): Everything was fine until those idiots showed up, one packed a nuke, nearly blew us all to hell, they took us in their van and got us all drunk - FIVE IDIOTS!
Zin: How much gas is in the tank Neon?
Neon: Well, it's been full for about three days now.
Chao Killer: Dang. That IS good gas mileage.
Nuku: I can't believe it. We're really going to meet Sonic Team! Kawaii!
Hyper Knux: I know
! I'm gonna have a beer to celebrate. BURP! SuperKnux: Cool! Knux is still belching coins!
Nuku: YAY! Gimme!
Radio Announcer: We interrupt Five Idiots by the Offspring to bring you this important news flash.
Neon: THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!
SuperKnux: Neon, you're starting to scare me.
Radio Announcer: Our top story tonight is to inform Neon Chaos that we are NOT demons. In other news the famous Sonic Team were kidnapped and are being held at the San Francisco Chao Garden. The kidnappers are demanding to speak to someone known only as "Killer."
Zin: Jinkies, not another Chao rights protest group.
Chao Killer: Zoinks! Well, I'll just have to nuke them like I did the last time.
Nuku: We have to save Sonic Team!
Neon: OK gang, let’s split up.
All except Neon: SHUT UP! WE’RE NOT THERE YET YOU IDIOT!
Hyper Knux: To the Beermobile, I mean Chao Garden! Drunk Factor Six!
Zin: Do you have to act like a Star Trek nerd?
The van screeches away in a blur. After a short drive.
SuperKnux: OK, we're here.
Zin: Here we go again.
Nuku: Let's try and do this WITHOUT killing anybody this time, OK CK?
Chao Killer: Awww...
The gang walk into the chao garden to find Sonic Team tied up above a vat of green jelly surrounded by hippie chao.
Hyper Knux: I hate these stupid hippies. All they do is complain and smell bad.
Chao Killer: Hmm. This is an intriguing development.
Chao #1: Which one of you is Chao Killer?
Chao Killer: I am. What's it to you?
Hyper Knux: Take me drunk! I'm home!
Chao #2: SILENCE! Our demand is quite simple. Like, stop killing innocent chao, and we will let your precious Sonic Team go, man. If not, they will be like, totally jellified!
Jun Senoue: Hurry! I've got a real bad itch and I need to scratch it!
Neon: Better do what he says.
Suddenly, the chao gather around the gang's feet, and start humping their legs.
Nuku: Help! I knew chao liked me, but this is ridiculous!
Zind: Damn. That's sick. Don't worry, Nuku! I'll save you!
The chao grab him and start humping his legs.
SuperKnux: WAAAAH! Get 'em off me!
Chao #1: Looks like your friends are like, a little busy man...Like, if you don't agree your friends I'll get it too.
Chao Killer: Let me think. Um...no.
Chao Killer whips out his giant beam gun from out of nowhere.
Chao #2: Don’t do anything-hasty man!
Hyper Knux: Hee hee! Stop it! That tickles!
Chao Killer starts to chase the chao around the garden and drops his gun. The chao then picks it up and gives it back to him. After a short while, Killer has the chao cornered.
Neon: Go on Killer! Blow the freak to hell! What? Why are you looking at me like that?
Chao Killer: Say yer prayers varmint!
Chao #2: You don't want to kill me 'cos, uh, I'm your father man!
Chao Killer: No you're not. My dad was a plumber.
Killer then blows the chao’s head off and then lays waste to the rest of the chao in the garden.
Nuku: Ugh...I feel sick. That was horrible!
SuperKnux: What? From the humping or the killing?
Nuku: Both.
Neon and Zin untie the Sonic Team.
Yuji Naka: Thank you very much kids. We are eternally grateful. As thanks, here are two free copies of Sonic Advance.
Hyper Knux: But there are six of us.
Yuji Naka: Here are TWO free games!
Nuku takes the games and then Sonic Team walks out of the garden.
Nuku: Hey wait! Can we be SEGA video game stars?
Yuji Naka: No.
Neon: Oh well. That's showbiz.